Meet my friend Internet. He’s a fun guy and loves spending time with everyone. And believe me, everyone loves him too. I bet he can bring a smile to your face — even if you are a stranger and I’ve just introduced you two.
Internet was born on April 7, 1969 but don’t think of him as someone in his 40s — he still behaves like a teenager sometimes. I still remember him grinning from ear to ear when he bought his first vehicle (he called it Mobile) in 1996 and it’s been his favourite set of wheels ever since. Of course, he’s made various adjustments over the years, adding features and newer technology so that he can zoom around on Mobile faster than ever before.
Not that he wasn’t attractive earlier, but ever since he’s been on Mobile, Internet has been irresistible. Women swoon when he zooms past them. Behind his rugged exterior lies the heart of a gambolling puppy that can melt even the grumpiest of human beings. Of course, he’s a big flirt too. He takes his dates out to this fancy restaurant called Pinterest, impressing women with visions of a giant pinboard filled with their favourite things.
Internet can read faces too. He can tell at a glance who you are and what you like. He even maintains a huge book to store the faces of all the people who are in touch with him. He calls it Facebook. I wanted him to name it something more classy but he went with the suggestion of another fan — Mark Zuckerberg. Anyway, it’s made life simple for all of us. I just open Facebook, search for my friends and check out what Internet has to say about them.
Internet has an eidetic memory. Nothing great but he’s able to remember everything clearly. I find it amazing (and irritating too, when Internet behaves like a tiresome know-it-all). He’s got a mind like that of Sherlock Holmes and has the makings of a great detective. When I’m searching for something, I just walk up to Internet and nag him with some magic words. He responds to some specific sounds — just utter Google, Bing or Yahoo — and he’ll spill the beans on any topic under the sun (and beyond).
Sometimes he makes notes too and stuffs all this information in a notebook. You can read it too and since he’s so sloppy with spellings and grammar, do feel free to make corrections. His house is a mess but if you poke around in his innumerable desks (and manage not to sneeze), you’ll find the notebook somewhere in an unfinished jigsaw globe he calls Wikipedia. His friend Jimmy Wales gave it to him in 2001 and he’s played around with it ever since.
When Internet is speeding down city roads on Mobile, he’s usually in a chatty mood. He’s what you call a serial Twitterer — you know, the kind of people who speak rapidly in staccato sentences. His fans adore his tweets though and share (or should I say retweet?) them with others.
I first made Internet’s acquaintance some two decades ago and we’ve been best friends since (fingers crossed). He’s given me many rides on the Mobile and I must admit I’ve never had so much fun before. Now it’s your turn.
(Contest entry forwww.vodafone.in/fun )